| Dear Lanae,
On my tenth birthday, my great grandfather handed me a new fishing rod and reel. Without thinking, I ran out of the house and onto the lawn, then started catching an imaginary five-pound rainbow trout out of my mother’s flower garden.
In my state of euphoria, I’d forgotten to thank him. Like a lightning bolt, my mother shot out of the house, screen door smacking behind her. “What did you forget to say?” she asked with loving authority.
I was lucky enough to grow up in a home where three words were modeled and always expected. Two of them were “Thank you” and the third was “Please.” We heard them use these words a lot. They used them with each other, with other adults, and with us.
Are your kids developing this habit? If not, it’s never too early to start. We believe that the best way for kids to learn life’s most important lessons is via the Three Es of Love and Logic.
Example
Do we show our kids how thankful we are for what we have, or do they see us grumbling and complaining?
Kids need to witness us being sincerely thankful for the air we breathe, our health, making it home from work without having a car accident, the food we have, the water we drink, our family, and all the other good things in our lives.
Experience
There are many people around the world today suffering from hunger and starvation because of food shortages caused by many different forces beyond their control, such as famine and war. People who experience hunger and starvation are very grateful when they get a decent meal and do not have to worry about their next meal.
Although we certainly don't advocate that children must experience this sort of suffering before they can learn to be thankful for what they have, will they ever experience true thankfulness if they are given everything they want without having to wait or work for it?
Empathy
Parents who use anger, lectures, threats, or punishment to coerce their children into being thankful, will find that they only create resentment and rebellion instead.
Parents who demonstrate their genuine empathy and love, as they allow their children to learn sometimes uncomfortable lessons about humility and thankfulness, are far more likely to raise kids with an attitude of gratitude. Be thankful and enjoy your kids this Thanksgiving!
Join us on December 7, for our next FREE online event, Sibling Rivalry. Dr. Daniel G. Amen and I will show you how to handle sibling rivalry and turn it into a learning opportunity that builds important life skills.
Thanks for reading!
If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend. Our goal is to help as many families as possible.
Dr. Charles Fay
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