| Dear Lanae,
We live in a frenetic world, one that is constantly bombarding us with text messages, emails, news, and unsettling events beyond our control. The holiday season adds to this sensory deluge and the effects can be overwhelming. My most cherished holiday memories from childhood are of sweet times when we were quiet and still, and we had time to just enjoy being together as a family.
In addition to helping us relax and recharge our energy, recent neurological studies have shown that peace and quiet, and even silence, can help restore our nervous systems and enhance our ability to respond to the world around us. These studies suggest that quiet might even stimulate development of new nerves cells. However, quiet time is a precious commodity these days, even more so during the holiday season.
One way to ensure we have enough quiet time is by setting and maintaining appropriate limits. The greatest holiday gift we can give our kids is the gift of limits—mostly limits on ourselves and the other adults in our lives. The limits we set with ourselves mostly involve curbing the natural inclination to do the impossible—make the holidays a perfect experience for everyone. We all know what happens when we attempt to make everyone happy.
The limits we set with the other adults in our lives involve taking good care of ourselves and our kids. Caution! Some of these might cause severe shock:
- We can’t wait to see you guys. We’ll need to leave by six so we can spend some quiet time with the kids before bedtime.
- We love you and want to spend time with you. We are trying to help the kids be more relaxed and rested, so we’ll need to do this on another day.
- We want to spend a relaxing time with everyone, so we’ll be ordering pizza.
The true meaning of the holidays lies in the connections we make with our families and with others in our communities throughout the season. These relationships are an invaluable part of all our lives. Cherish your relationships and create truly joyful memories this holiday season.
In whatever holiday activities you have, connect with the people you love, and not just those under the same roof, and balance your activities with adequate rest and quiet times for you and your kids.
There is still time to register for tomorrow's FREE online event, Sibling Rivalry. Join me and Dr. Daniel G. Amen as we share the 4 Steps to Resolve Sibling Rivalry and much more!
Thanks for reading!
If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend. Our goal is to help as many families as possible.
Dr. Charles Fay
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