| Dear Susan,
Although the basics of parenting remain the same, issues involving technology often baffle many parents and cause them to wonder what limits are appropriate, how to hold their children accountable for misuse of technology, and how to help kids learn the decision-making skills required to make healthy technology choices when they leave home.
Do you ever feel like your child’s cell phone, game console, or computer is like a monster that has taken over your home? Here are some signs that technology use might be a problem for your kids:
- Do your kids become defiant and refuse to take a break from their phone or computer?
- Even if they are willing to take a break, do they become exceptionally irritable, depressed, or bored during that time?
- Do they lie to you about their technology use and sneak time during their break?
Any of these classic withdrawal symptoms are possible signs that your loved one has a problem that can lead to serious consequences if left untreated.
Technology can be a wonderful tool for communication, learning, and healthy enjoyment. However it can also become a dark and destructive influence in the absence of necessary parental supervision and limits. Below are a few examples of enforceable limits that we, as parents, can provide:
- You may have your computer in the living room, not in your room.
- You may be on the internet if I’m allowed to review your internet history.
- You may be on social media if I can have access to your pages.
- Feel free to have a cell phone if you can pay for the service.
- You may keep your cell phone if you are not using it during meals, in class, or while driving.
- I allow kids to use technology in my home if I feel that they are being respectful and responsible.
- I immediately donate to charity any devices used to view or send pornography.
Although we can’t control what our kids do when they are away from home, we can set good, solid limits while they’re under our roofs. If they complain, “You don’t trust me!” you can reply, “I don’t even trust myself. Lots of good people get in trouble with technology. That’s why I always make sure that your mom/dad knows what I’m doing on my computer, too.”
Join us on October 5, for our next free online event, Technology Misuse and Addiction. Dr. Daniel G. Amen and I will discuss problems associated with technology use as well as tips for helping parents tame the technology monster.
Thanks for reading!
If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend. Our goal is to help as many families as possible.
Charles Fay, Ph.D. |
