| Dear Sample,
Love and Logic believes that good parents and teachers take really good care of themselves, and this is the basis of the First Rule of Love and Logic. When dads take good care of themselves, they develop a positive and healthy relationship with their kids and provide a healthy role model for them.
What can dads do to take good care of themselves and help their kids? The secret is in the Second Rule of Love and Logic—when a child causes a problem, the adult hands it back in loving ways. Dads can avoid the trap of addressing the problem with anger, threats, and lectures by simply providing the opportunity for the child to solve the problem.
Show your child how to make mistakes and solve them.
Great dads (and moms) allow their children to witness their small mistakes and model what it looks like to be a good problem-solver.
Give your child plenty of opportunities to make “affordable” mistakes.
Love and Logic parents allow their youngsters plenty of opportunities to make small, “affordable” mistakes when they are young, so that they can learn from their mistakes when the “price tag” is small.
If a mistake is made, provide a strong “dose” of empathy, and hold your child accountable.
Empathy is the cornerstone of all Love and Logic techniques. The most loved and respected dads (and moms) provide a strong message of empathy and caring before they deliver consequences.
Give your child the same task again.
When parents give their children the opportunity and responsibility for the same task again, without reminding them of their previous mistakes, they send the powerful message that they can learn from their mistakes.
To all the dads who are oftentimes too hard on themselves, remember to show yourself the same kindness and forgiveness that a loving father shows his children. For tips on how to take care of yourself when parenting heats up, listen to our audio, Keeping Cool When Parenting Heats Up.
Thanks for reading!
If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend. Our goal is to help as many families as possible.
Dr. Charles Fay |
