| Dear Sample,
This big question sits heavily on the hearts of countless parents, and the answers often seem confusing and elusive. After decades of studying research and working with families (as well as being humbled by my own children), I’ve learned many parenting lessons the hard way.
I’d like to share one of these lessons in a story about a rebellious and unhappy son. Ethan and his parents represent thousands of parents who have benefited from Love and Logic over the years.
Ethan’s parents were growing more exhausted by the day. He’d developed a nasty habit of making negative comments about everything they said. Chores were not getting done, homework was suffering, and he complained incessantly about his deplorable living conditions—the Wi-Fi was too slow, his phone was too old, and the parents of his friends were far more understanding and compassionate.
Ethan’s parents were baffled. Being kind and conscientious, they tried even harder to provide a consistently comfortable and love-filled daily experience for Ethan. Fretting, they wondered, “What else can we do? Our son is so unhappy and disrespectful, and even disobedient! What can we do to improve our relationship?”
A friend of many years shared some wisdom with them:
“He’s acting this way because he sees you as weak.
He doesn’t respect you because you don’t expect anything of him.”
Though provided out of love, their friend’s remarks stung. As their pain subsided, mom and dad began to see the truth in it. As a result, they set a strong limit over what they would provide and under what circumstances:
“We are happy to do and provide extra things for you when we feel respected and you are completing your chores.”
As you can imagine, Ethan’s initial reaction was not positive. But as the days passed, Ethan’s parents were surprised to see a happier and more respectful kid. They remarked, “It’s true! Kids do need, and want, the loving leadership of limits.”
Have you seen this story unfold in your life? Have you witnessed a friend who discovered that avoiding conflict with their child was merely creating more of it?
For decades, Love and Logic has focused on helping parents transform kids like Ethan into adults who are responsible, resilient, and respectful. In 2021, Love and Logic became part of the Amen Clinics family, allowing the integration of Love and Logic’s psychological principles and techniques with the powerful brain-health approach pioneered by Dr. Daniel Amen.
One of the fruits of this collaboration is a new book that Dr. Amen and I wrote. This innovative book, Raising Mentally Strong Kids, will be released next week. It raises the standard for parenting books by adding extraordinary insights from brain science to the proven principles and techniques of Love and Logic. Based on neuroscience and decades of parenting experience, it will give you practical steps for raising competent, resilient, and responsible kids. Order this valuable new resource today!
Thanks for reading!
If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend. Our goal is to help as many families as possible.
Dr. Charles Fay
|
