| Dear Sample,
Our goal at Love and Logic is to teach parents how to help their kids own and solve their own problems. If children are going to survive and thrive in tomorrow’s complex world, they need practice solving as many problems as possible early in their lives!
By instilling this ability in kids at an early age, they will grow up to become responsible and self-sufficient, able to make healthy and appropriate decisions in this increasingly complex world. The following process is an example of how to get kids thinking more about their problems than we do.
Step 1: Provide a strong and sincere dose of empathy.
Empathy allows the child to stay calm enough to solve the problem—and learn from it. Experiment with saying something like:
Oh no. This is a problem. I bet that’s really upsetting.
Step 2: Hand the problem back.
After you have proven that you care, ask:
What do you think you might do to solve this problem?
Don’t be shocked if the child mumbles, “I don’t know.”
Step 3: Ask permission to share what “some kids” have tried.
Avoid giving suggestions until you have asked:
Would you like to hear what some other kids have tried?
Step 4: Provide two or three alternatives for solving the problem.
Remember to avoid resistance by saying:
Some kids decide to ________. How would that work for you?
Step 5: Allow the child to solve or not to solve the problem.
Resist the urge to tell the child which alternative to pick. End the session by showing your faith in the child and say:
Good luck! Let me know how this turns out.
This approach has proven successful throughout the years for thousands of parents who have taken Love and Logic parenting classes from our Independent Facilitators.
We will continue supporting Independent Facilitators of our Love and Logic curricula with the upcoming Train the Trainer Virtual Event on March 3-4, 2022. This event is for those who are already teaching our parenting classes, or anyone who is interested in becoming an Independent Facilitator.
Thanks for reading!
If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend. Our goal is to help as many families as possible.
Charles Fay, Ph.D. |
